I don't know what went on with me last friday. I guess it was a combination of being alone, missing him, frustration and disappointment with my boss and with work. I snapped. I feel so helpless that I am away and at the same time disappointed that I cannot entrust some things to who were left. Much worse, it was the company's 2nd anniversary and while they were enjoying, I am here alone. And worst, he surprised everyone with his presence in Cebu. I so miss him. I miss talking to him and seeing him. Setting aside what I feel, his the nearest person I can talk to about anything and end up laughing to the core. I hoped for him to be back, and he was. But I'm not there. And I guess the wish of being with him on my birthday won't come true.
I know I overly reacted. Turning off my phones and all communication lines. But it was my release. And I think it was good in a way. I was able to affirm that nobody cares. At least in my immediate environment. Nobody cares. It's a wake up call not to depend on people. All they need me for is to help them with work. They don't care if I'm already tired or fed up with all the demands. I was just too good to them.
I guess it's in my nature to give more than I can. But everything has its limits. And I've reached mine. Perhaps it's high time for me to give myself some consolation. I deserve some rest.
