This trip to CDO has long been planned. I even filed my leave ahead of time. However, I did not book my ticket ahead. I was too complacent I guess. Or perhaps it is a manifestation of an inner desire to just stay here and never to return. Thus, I can't return to Cebu tonight because the boat is fullybooked and plane fare is way too expensive. So I'll extend another day.
After almost four years of being in this field, I am into that phase of having a career crisis. I am too old for this, I know. But this is how I feel. I am not sure if I still want to do what I do for the next few years. I am not sure if I am still effective. I am not sure if I am still needed. You see, I am not the type who lingers in a place where I know I cannot contribute anything. I don't like being compensated for something I haven't perform well. I don't like that kind of burden to my conscience.
I know I cannot leave now. But if I stay, I might not be able to leave anymore. But I also don't know where to go.
I miss having conversations with people who can somehow enlighten me on this one. Yeah, eventually I have to decide for myself. I just need another perspective.
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