Thank You

I thought this process would be as hard as I thought it would be. I thought it would take me a long while to get over with the pain. But I thought wrong. i don't know if it is because of age or because of who the person is or because of how deep the love is or because of how deep the friendship is. But whatever the reason maybe, I am just glad that I can smile and laugh truthfully. 

The conversation really did help a lot. I know, that despite all my drama, I can't and I won't let him be out of my life. Because first and foremost, he is a dear friend. AGAIN, I won't let this "feeling" get in the way.

So to you my dear friend, thank you. 
     Thank you for listening and not passing on judgment.
     Thank you for saying that there is nothing wrong with me. I really needed that.
     Thank you for making me smile and laugh again. 
     Thank you for the honesty.
     Thank you for the sweet little gestures.
     Thank you for asking how I am.
     Thank you for not getting tired of my drama.
     Thank you for giving me my two sleeping buddies.
     Thank you for the apology but more so thank you for the appreciation. 
     Thank you for being there. 

      I am just so thankful that I can be honest with you. That even if you were put on a bad light because of what I said and went through, you didn't "walked away".

And to quote that card you gave, "thanks not only for the big things but also for the thirty-two million little things"

:D

The Star That Wouldn't Fall

I forgot to write the date but I'm sure this was during my CPA Board Exam Review (April-Sept 2005). The piece of paper I used is my scratch paper for computations. This was for someone I was very in love with that time. Of course, the feeling has been long gone. Actually, I just laugh at everything I went through that time. But I have to admit though, it took me a long while to recover from that. It was some kind of a complicated situation. I am just thankful that despite that, I passed the Board Exam. :D


(unedited)


THE STAR THAT WOULDN'T FALL

I saw a happy shining star
    in the midst of a crazy crowd
I was captivated by its brightness
    that I didn't want to miss its sight.
I have appreciated its beauty,
    have fallen for it.
I hold dear in my heart
    the magic its  light brings.


In the darkness of the night,
     it continues to show its presence.
In the brightness of the day,
     it whispers with the wind.
In the sound of the pouring rain,
      it sings the rhythm.
In the silence of the dawn,
      it patiently protects.


I have loved the idea of the star
      being a part of my life.
I lived with the thought
      that it's the answer to a prayer
I didn't realize that in the process
      I acted selfishly
I wanted it all for myself
I wanted to hold it in my hand
      to be just beside me always.


I eventually lost it
I turned it away from me
In forcing it to stay, it left
It went back to  the crazy crowd
      where I first saw it.
It saddened me so much
      that I felt lost most of the time.
I even came to a point of fearing people
      of blaming them with the emptiness I felt.


Yet now,
I understand things as they are.
I reached for the star's help
   and it happily extended its light to me.
In the crowd where it lives,
    many have joined to share its brightness.
I still am most welcomed but
    I don't think I can fit in.
I have to forgive myself first
I have to heal the wound I've caused myself
I have to accept that
   it is the star that
   wouldn't leave the sky just for me.




-byang <3-
filipiniana library, XU 
3:10 PM