30

Almost 5 yrs ago, out of the blue, someone promised me that he'll marry me if we're still both single when I turn 30. We're both still single and not in a committed relationship. Will that promise be fulfilled? No.

I didn't take that promise seriously. That just came out of whim. But to be honest, in that 5 years span, I came to a point that I wished that it will come true. I laugh at those memories actually. I am smiling while writing about it now. 

I'm still friends with that person. I am not sure if he remembers though. 

So, I'm 30. I am not who I envisioned myself to be when I was still 20. I'm unmarried, I'm not a lawyer, I don't have a huge house, I'm not physically fit, and I am still in the Philippines. My 20 yr old self would definitely nag me for not getting where I wanted to be. 

I may not be that person, I may not have achieved my goals, I understand that life does not always go as planned. Things happen that will make you create decisions that will lead you to a different path and a different you.

I'm unmarried. NBSB at that. But I was saved from the wrong ones. People say that 30 is already a critical age. I would agree to that, in some way. But I won't force things to happen for I know what is bound to happen will eventually happen.

I'm not a lawyer. This was my first high school dream. I wasn't able to take up law because of financial reasons. I opted for Masters instead since it was for free. Soon, I claim that my financial standing will be ok so that  I can fulfill that dream.

I don't have a huge house. I live in a rented apartment now. I am still also paying for our house in CDO. If I come to think of it. I don't dream of a huge house anymore. I dream of a happy home. i don't want to live alone.

I am not physically fit. I admit this is a failure on my part. I am so lazy in this specific aspect of my life. Though I made a birthday vow to really give time for that.

I'm still in the Philippines. I remember I once said that if by age 27 I'm still single, I'll go abroad. But I never had the courage to. Or maybe I didn't really want to go. And though people force me to go now, I can't afford to.

So, to sum, again I am not where I wanted to be. And I am not the person who I wanted to be. Am I sad about it? No. If I want to be technical about it, I cannot be sad because it was never a guarantee that I'll be happy if I achieved that. If I'll be honest about it, I am not sad. But I am not also fully content of what I have achieved. I believe that there are still so many things that I need to do and to achieve. I am grateful though. I may not have that great of a relationship with Him but he still blessed me.

So I am 30. I'm ready to be in a committed relationship. I'm a Business Application Project Manager. I'm paying for a house. I am working to be fit....

I help others to reach their full potentials. I help my company to have a team. I invest. I am starting my business. I'm a loyal friend. And more...

I am 30. I celebrate my age. I celebrate the person that I am now. And I will continue to work on my dreams.

Happy birthday to me.

Happy Parent's day to Mama and Papa. (thanks Pao for the idea).