You're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new
This time I'll love you even better than I ever did before
And you'll be in my heart forevermore"
I've been trying to complete this post for several days
now. This is actually a long overdue "reaction" to Piolo and
Toni's movie. And as I try to complete this, I honestly cannot completely
gather my thoughts. There are a lot of things that I wanted to say. Not just
about the movie nor the song. But the phrase itself. As I have been telling
people, I went through a lot since this year started. And I really was on the
verge of giving up. Thankfully, I have people around me who put some sense to
my (hard) head.
So I guess I have to divide this post into three, to satisfy all the crazy thoughts I have.
The song.
I loved the song the first time I heard it. I was in
elementary then. Of course I don't know what it meant but the singer in me
(lol) easily mastered it. From then on the song became my constant study
companion. I don't know but I seem to absorb all that I am studying if I listen
to the song (and all other songs of the same genre).
Perhaps I should practice that again. Work stresses are taking its toll on me. I don't perform quite as effective and efficient as I used to. It's time to do try some old tricks. Lels
The movie.
I am a cry baby and a sucker for movies such as this. I don't know why but I didn't cry (or maybe just once) while watching. But I smiled and laughed a lot. In so many ways I was able to relate to Ginny and even Marco. I laughed because I can now openly talk about the pains of the past without feeling the pain. Those who knows me would testify that I've been through a lot in the love department. No matter how smart I am, I become a fool when "in love". Oftentimes, I don't see reason anymore.
But those experiences were necessary for me to learn and to grow. As I often tell my friends, I have experienced pain and committed all the mistakes to prepare me for that someone I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. And I think the movie sums up to this.
The phrase.
I've had a lot of starting over again moments. And I am happy to have grabbed those moments. My transfer to the corporate world is one. A lot have raised their eyebrows when I did that. But I am happy that I took that step. I am happy with where I am now despite the challenges.
Perhaps the biggest starting over again moment I took was with myself. I do admit that I did not know myself and did not love myself the way I do now. I don't know the exact moment I took that step but it was brought out by the realization that I cannot truly love if I don't have love.
So perhaps I wasn't allowed to be in a relationship despite having mutual feelings because of lack of self love, or to be more precise because of lack of self acceptance.
And I have now. I love myself more now. I know myself better and have accepted who I am. I am not perfect. But who says that I need to be?
And on that note, I am taking yet another step to starting over. This time in terms of meeting that someone I am meant to be with. I won't succumb to the pressures around me. I just want to make everything right this time. And I sincerely do pray about it. Whether I met him already or have yet to meet him.
This time I will love even better than I ever did before.
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