Of Journals and Blogs

I am fond of collecting notebooks and pens. This is because I like to write my thoughts because I can better express myself  in writing. But a typical Filipino, I have this "ningas-cogon" attitude. I am just good at starting a journal but after a few pages, I stop. It's either I get bored, or lazy, or I saw a better notebook to start on. Just like on the blogs I started. I have had a few. But before I reach ten posts, I stop. Perhaps, the most consistent blog I've maintained was that blog dedicated to someone while he was out of reach. Which I already deleted. It was my most honest expression of love and loyalty for that person. I had to delete it because someone else was able to read it. I regret deleting it though. I want to read it all over again. To help me better understand the process I am going through right now.  All the while I thought that the person I dedicated it to wasn't able to read it. But he did.

Anyway, I came across a note I wrote over two years ago. And funny how two years after I am writing of the same things about the same person. I'm still writing about moving on. So much for my resolve two years ago. I still haven't moved on. One thing that struck me most in that note though, is the fact that I can cope with whatever pain or hurt I am feeling if I write about it. Yes, I can share it with friends and I am sure they'd be willing to listen. But it is different when you're saying it to something or to someone unknown. When you don't know expect any reaction. When you don't get to be asked. When you simply can express your heart out.

I am supposed to prepare my to-do list. But a better idea came to mind. That is, to give justice to all the journals and blog I have started. How am I going to do that? Well, I am starting this blog. This will serve as a compilation of my prior journals and blog posts (but limited to those which I can actually share to the public with the hope that they can learn something from it), my current thoughts, and my journey towards moving forward.

Why the blog title? Well, I am always in Love. My heart maybe broken but I am in love still.

-Byang <3-