Responsibility

A project went crazy lately and I understand that everyone involved in that project are too toxic. Even I didn't know what to do anymore for a time. But I guess I depended so much on a senior to back us up just in case. I have a very high tolerance for insults and sarcasm. I can stretch my patience up to as much. I understand that he is not well aware of what the frontliners do for he never experienced what we do. But I expected him to show respect to what we do and not treat us as slaves. I don't know what to call myself anymore after what he did. I know what my responsibilities are. And if there maybe times that I forget, I don't forget something as big as knowing that I am managing a project. When he told me that I was supposed to manage that project and I immediately told him that based on my understanding (and everyone's understanding) it is him who'll manage. I can take responsibility for any wrong thing I do. But what my boss showed is exactly the opposite. As if he tried to pass on the blame. And I guess (even with my little knowledge on project management and leadership) that's a big no-no.

I won't deny the fact that I am bothered. It's bad enough that I am always put in the middle of opposing forces. And then there's this.I am tempted to leave. I can always find something else. It is just that I still can't right now. I cannot let those everyone around me down. I cannot let my team down. With a boss like that, I don't know how can they have an easy life.

Oh well.