For the past few weeks, I've been busy working on some crystal reports. I did some troubleshooting of reports I did not make. I also created reports from scratch. These were very draining. Even if I like what I am doing, at the end of the day I get tired. There's just too much that the body and mind can do. I get a certain high though every time I get to finish one, esp if I get to fix one.
What I like most in creating crystal reports are the formula and/or condition that comes with it. If only I can apply these formula to my heart, then I would gladly use it.
I had this conversation with a friend earlier. Matters of the heart again. Not mine but hers. Though we ended up talking about mine. I realized that I totally learned to suppress whatever it is that I feel. I don't nourish it. I don't allow it to grow. It's because I know that the person my heart is longing for definitely cannot give back what it wants. Is it a good thing? Is suppressing my feelings a good thing? In a way it is. At least I don't do crazy things because I don't feel it. I am afraid though. I am afraid because suppressing it means that I don't allow myself to feel anything nor to express anything. I don't want to come to a point where I would feel a very big void in my heart.
If only.
if whatheartfeels = loveforhim then suppress else express
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