Even until now, I still am not over that habit of buying Notebooks and Pens I don't even use and sometimes,I even forget that I have. I don't anymore remember how I started with that habit or why I developed it. I just know that I find comfort in these things. They just take my blues away.
For the past week I just felt so alone. Even up to this moment. I guess work pressures are taking its toll on me. And I cannot freely express my frustration because there are others who are depending on me for strength. The one person I so often run to, somehow, is not there anymore. He is keeping his distance. I know it's my fault. I went overboard of telling him too much that's why perhaps he sensed that being near me or getting close to me will do more harm than good.
I don't blame him. Sometimes, the only way to tame me is to leave me. But it hurts. I feel so alone. And when I feel like this, I know I can't be as effective as I want to be. And I can't be productive. I don't get things done.
I bought two pens and a notepad today. I wanted to buy more but I just controlled myself because I need to save. And I guess it's noteworthy to say that I over ate. I am officially stressed. I am officially alone. But I know I cannot dwell on these.
Tomorrow is a new day. I need to start. I have to start.
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