Going the Distance

Things right now are just so hard to take in that I'm again into that Love Stories movie marathon habit. It's my way of destressing that well, ends up with me feeling all alone. Twisted, right? But that's how twisted my mind works at times. Oh well, most of the time. Perhaps, I can never do away with being hopelessly romantic. Or maybe, I am still not giving up on love. I am still hoping to finally be with that person I am destined to be with.

I am often told that I can never find him because I have closed my heart. I still am not over with a past love. They could be right. I am still not over with it. But I am not closing my heart to any possible new love. Problem is, there's none right now. I am not in a hurry though (even when I should). Someday, in someplace, I'll find him.

I'm just curious, what will my life be if I ended up with that past love. I was so engrossed with loving him that I didn't consider our situation. He's there, I'm here. If we were actually in a relationship, how are we going to get through given the distance? How will we make it work? When with just being friends, I am missing him terribly, how much more if he actually feels the same way? My love is real, but will it be strong enough?

Oh well, so much questions. But I guess, the bottomline would be, Love, no matter the situation, will always find its way. We maybe miles apart but we'll find a way to bridge that distance.

I miss him. Someday, I hope to be able to tell him this.  I know I shouldn't be missing him anymore. And I shouldn't be loving him anymore. But I miss him (terribly) and I still love him. I cannot tell him upfront though. And I am not even allowed to tell him. This situation is twisted. Yes, I go on with my life. I am moving forward. But there's this nagging feeling of something that's lacking. There's a void in my heart.